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Someone is out of character

The day after parliament settles down each year, the parliament has a Christmas party. As part of this Christmas party, the parliamentary parties get together to stage a theatrical performance. It was thought many years ago that, considering the escapades in question time, politicians would make excellent actors.

It has been leaked to Leverage that, the pantomime this year is going to be the Wizard of Oz. I understand its casts have been selected carefully and based on its special skills that the politicians bring to the table.

  • Bill Shorten has been cast in the role of the Wizard. Bill Shorten in the last election was able to prove that if you tell a lie hard enough and lie enough, people will believe it. Just as Medicare was going to be privatised, the Wizard of Oz in the famous movie, had monetised fabrication.
  • We believe Julia Bishop has been cast as Dorothy. The sweet smiling foreign minister has been thought to be a perfect candidate to replacing Dorothy. Never doing anything wrong, always smiling and always backing the right bloke. She has that little bit of majesty that reminds you of Julie Garland. I wonder if she drinks as well!!!
  • The Tin Man will be played by Peter Dutton, the Minister responsible for the refugees. Many think he needs a heart and should allow all persons to migrate to Australia. Maybe Peter can provide all refugees with a present. Give them all permanent residency, place them in the major cities of Australia and give them housing commission properties and pay them Centrelink. This would provide all refugees with a return on their investments of the people smugglers.
  • The Scarecrow is obviously Christopher Pyne. A man is much in need of brains and intelligence. Each Friday morning when he appears on the Today Show he scares the hell out of me and makes me turn off the television immediately. I believe his understudy is going to be Anthony Ablanese.
  • The Lion is Malcolm Turnbull. The parliament believes that Malcolm is much in need of courage. It is hoped that when he meets the Wizard, which he does on a daily basis, he will acquire some courage. Many think Malcolm has lost his “mo-jo” because Lucy is now using his Viagra.
  • Pauline Hanson is staring as the Good Witch from the North. Many thought Pauline should have been made the wicked witch, but she felt that she now has a party and has graduated from the wicked witch of the West to the Good Witch of the North. Others may not like it, but people from the North love her. All in Queensland is strange!
  • The Wicked Witch of the West has got to be Tanya Plibersek. Great casting. She says she loves the West and I believe she is a little bit wicked.
  • I believe the Greens are performing the role of the Yellow Brick Road. If you follow them, we will find utopia.

We believe this is a private performance, which is a pity, that we will not be there for this command performance by parliament. Many think that this happens every day at 2pm in parliament when question time is on.

For those who have taken me seriously, wake up! This is a “G” up and meant for humour purposes only.